Many thoughts spring forth at the mention of John Calvin. Many, like myself, think of a measured, Scripture-focused, historically minded codifier of Reformed theology. Others may think of a symbol of a theology they strongly dislike. Whatever your opinion of him may be, you likely do not immediately associate Calvin with humor.
While reading his Tracts Relating to the Reformation, however, I came across what I believe to be a clear example of polemical satire. In addressing a serious issue, Calvin employs a dry and witty style of writing to expose error. This can be seen in the short work An Admonition Showing the Advantages Which Christendom Might Derive from an Inventory of Relics.
The Need for Refutation: A Brief History
The historical context that produced the need for this polemic was one marked by growing superstition. In the earlier centuries of the church, images of Jesus and Christian martyrs began to appear in Christian settings. Originally, these were used as decoration rather than objects of worship.
Like many practices not rooted in Scripture, however, this custom developed over time. Images began to be used devotionally, and controversy soon followed. In 726, the first wave of iconoclasm began, during which images within churches were destroyed.
In response, the Second Council of Nicaea pronounced anathema upon anyone who refused to venerate sacred images or who regarded the practice as idolatry. The controversy continued through the eighth and ninth centuries, with Eastern churches generally employing painted icons while Western churches increasingly added statues.
The veneration of images and statues provided fertile ground for religious superstition. Throughout the Middle Ages, shrines were established to house bones, hair, clothing, and other objects believed to belong to saints. These relics, like images, became objects of worship and destinations for pilgrimage.
Such shrines often promised healing or other spiritual benefits. As a result, there was a strong incentive to establish new shrines that could attract visitors—often accompanied by donations or fees. An underground trade in relics also developed, further increasing both their number and their supposed value.
By the time Calvin wrote this treatise, the claims to possess relics had multiplied enormously. In many cases, different churches claimed possession of the exact same relic—something Calvin is quick to point out.
The Humor of the Work
The first element of humor appears in the title itself. Naming the work Advantages which Christendom might derive from an Inventory of Relics is clearly sarcastic when the author’s true aim is to demonstrate the folly of relic veneration. The “advantage” provided by this inventory is ultimately the abandonment of the practice.
The second element of humor is Calvin’s writing style, which clearly and unmistakably mocks the subject. A few examples illustrate his approach:
“If all the pieces [of the cross] which could be found were collected into a heap, they would make a whole shipload; yet the Gospel testifies that a single man was able to carry it.”
Either the cross was much larger than we thought, or someone is not telling the truth.
“The most extraordinary articles of all are the twelve apostolic combs… I believe they were first exhibited as combs belonging to twelve peers of France, but their dignity afterwards increased, and they became apostolic.”
Apparently, they were once ordinary European artifacts—until they were promoted to apostolic status.
“It will be thought I am in jest when I speak of the relics of an angel… they show his dagger… and also his shield… resembling the brass circles which are put upon horses’ harness.”
I suppose angels must fight demons with human weapons.
“There are so many heads of John the Baptist that if they were all genuine, he must have had more than one.”
And you thought he looked unusual only because of the camel hair.
“Some churches even show the milk of the Virgin… as if the blessed Virgin had been a cow.”
These examples, along with Calvin’s remarks about the supposed nails of the crucifixion, the multiple bodies of the apostles, and even feathers allegedly left behind by the Holy Spirit at Christ’s baptism, reveal how absurd the relic trade had become. By simply listing these claims, Calvin exposes their impossibility in a pointed and humorous way.
Should We Make Use of This Style of Polemics?
Satire can be a powerful rhetorical tool. By exposing error through humor, a writer can reveal the absurdity of a position without relying solely on dense academic argument.
In this short work, Calvin does not merely argue against relic veneration. Instead, he allows the claims surrounding relics to collapse under their own weight.
By listing relic after relic, he simply highlights the absurdity that was already present. The approach proved effective, and the treatise was widely circulated throughout Europe during the Reformation.
At the same time, satire must be used carefully. While it can expose error, it can also easily slip into cruelty or unnecessary mockery. Calvin’s satire succeeds because it is directed toward ideas and practices rather than toward ordinary believers who had inherited these traditions.
It targets the practice, not the person.
In that sense, his approach may serve as a helpful model. When superstition, contradiction, or obvious falsehood appears in religious practice, a measured use of irony may sometimes reveal the problem more clearly than a lengthy theological treatise.
At the very least, Calvin’s little work reminds us that even the most serious theologians occasionally knew how to wield a sharp and well-placed joke.
Further Reading
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